Dogbert Dog was jogging along the street. Dogbert was a chocolate-coloured retriever. He woofed goodbye to his brother Danny Dog. Danny was off to the vet. It was a cool and cloudy autumnal day – a slight breeze was blowing, and Dogbert wanted to go to the park.

Dogbert came across his cousin Daisy Dogson and he barked her a cheery hello. They stopped for a good sniff of each other before Dogbert trotted on to the park. Daisy was going to meet her boyfriend – Derry Dogswood.

In the Dogtown Park Dogbert ran across the moist green grass and saw his cousin in the other side – Denis Doghouse. Denis was a cross between a retriever and a spaniel. Denis was running around with a big stick in his jaws. Dogbert went up to Denis and they had a good-natured tussle as Dogbert grabbed a hold of the stick with his teeth and tried to pull it away from Denis.

Dogbert eventually succeeded in grabbing the stick. But he good naturedly dropped it to give it back to Denis.

Just then a very messy puppy jogged by. He was Dilbert Dogsdinner. He was a white and grey old English sheepdog. But Dilbert’s hair was disarranged and he had lots of food stuck in his coat. In fact, he looked like a dog’s dinner.

Just then a black Scottish terrier came along – it was Murdo McDog. Murdo and Dogbert had a race across the park.

Then an Irish red setter appeared – Diarmuid O’Dog. Diarmuid and Dogbert had a good swim in the pond. When Dogbert got out, he shook the water off his coat and made sure to spray it all over some anti-dog people sitting on a park bench.

Katie Caninekin was also having a good swim in the park pond. Katie was a brown Labrador. Dogbert was inspired to dive in and have a nice vigorous swim himself. He frightened the ducks, ducklings and drakes. They squawked and flew off.

A beautiful golden retriever jogged along – Felicity Fourpaws. Dogbert had always fancied her. He ran up to her to give her his telephone number. But Felicity was having none of it. She haughtily ran off with her snout high in the air. Why did she not like him? Was his breath not doggy enough?

Wilma Woofworthy was a beige sausage dog crossed with something that gave her longer legs. Wilma bounded across the park towards Dogbert. She had always been attracted to him. Wilma barked an ‘’I love you’’ to Dogbert. But Dogbert disappointed her. He barked back, ‘’No, sorry I only have eyes for Felicity.’’

Later Wendy Wagatail came along. She had a very waggy tail! She wagged her tail so much that it caused Dogbert to stop to have a chat with her. Wendy was extraordinarily friendly.

Caroline Collarly was being walked on a lead by her mistress. She was a haughty white poodle. Caroline always liked to wear her collar. She was rather haughty and did not like to play with doggies who went off the lead.

There was a one-eyed grey rescue dog named Pepa Preferswomen. Pepa barked at men but was fond of women.

A little brown terrier named Hetty Havenofear ran around the park. Her master Nigel had to keep her on a lead. She was tiny but fearless. She would attack a dog ten times her size. But she was always gentle with people.

Then Dogbert saw Goodeth Gooddog with her master in the park. Goodeth was a brown retriever. The man would throw a ball for Goodeth to go and get. Goodeth would fetch the ball and then run back to her master. He would pet Goodeth and say to her ‘’good dog.’’

Cassie Claws was sharpening her claws on a tree. Cassie was a black poodle. She was very small but had razor sharp claws. No dog would dare try to steal her food!

Just then Dogbert spotted Billy Bitesbum. Billy was a dachshund. Billy was a hero to everyone in town. Dogbert inquired, ‘’Billy how did you get your surname?’’

Billy replied, ‘’Last Christmas I had just seen Santa Claus come and deliver Christmas presents to all the children in my house. I was dozing in the drawing room when I was awoken by the smell of a strange man. Then I heard a burglar breaking in. I saw the nasty burglar pick up the presents to put them in his sack. The poor little children were going to wake up on Christmas morning and all their presents would have been stolen! The big bad burglar was not scared off by my growling because I am tiny. So, when he bent over to pick up his sack, I sank my teeth into the bad man’s bum. He yelped with pain, dropped the sack and ran out of the house! A policewoman on the street heard the commotion and arrested the bad burglar.’’

‘’Hurray you saved the day’’ barked Dogbert ‘’and the children woke up that morning and got all their presents. That is all thanks to you!’’

Dogbert was having a fun jog around the park. He saw Will Weeontree doing a wee wee on a plane tree. Will was a golden Labrador. When Will was finished he ran to the next tree and did a few drops on that one. And then he ran on to the next tree to sprinkle it.

Dogbert trilled, ‘’Will why are you doing that? You do not need to do number one every few seconds.’’

Will answered, ‘’I wee on a tree to mark my territory.’’

‘’Oh, come on now’’ woofed Dogbert, ‘’you do not own the whole park. It is a bit anti-social to wee everywhere.’’

A lady was betting Mike Muzzlewet. Mike was a mongrel. Mike was generously slobbering all over her hand. He had an exceptionally wet muzzle.

Ben Bowwow was having a good bark at pigeons flying by. Ben was a Doberman. The pigeons were not scared. But Ben did not seem to get it.

Just then Dogbert saw a border Colley named Quentin Quadruped reading the newspapers that humans had left behind on the park bench – that was his job. He was a very intellectual doggy. Dogbert woofed to Quentin, ‘’Why do you have the surname Quadruped? I never heard that word before.’’

‘’Because it means ‘four feet’ in Latin’’ woofed Quentin pecksniffianly.

‘’How did you know that?’’ barked Dogbert looking nonplussed.

‘’Oh, everybody knows that’’ woofed Quentin with a roll of the eyes.

‘’Er… no they don’t’’ woofed Dogbert. ‘’By the way – what do you do for fun?’’

‘’In my spare time I do complex mathematical calculations’’ woofed Quentin languidly. He was a very, very brainy doggy.

‘’You know Doggish, English and Latin and you do maths? I can only count up to the number of the claws on my forepaws’’, woofed Dogbert.

‘’I just keep my eyes and ears open – that is how you learn’’ barked Quentin.

‘’Quentin’’ woofed Dogbert, ‘’I want to love to London. What is the place for a dog to live in London?’’

‘’A place called Barking’’ barked Quention, ‘’or maybe the Isle of Dogs.’’

On the way home Dogbert saw Claire Kennels tidying up her kennel. She was very houseproud. Claire was a dark blonde Yorkshire terrier.

Peter Pet was picked up by his mistress. Peter was a greyish Lhasa apso. He was an adorable little one and she cuddled him. She then handed him on to his master who hugged Peter like a baby. Peter lapped up all the attention.

Paula Pooch was a skinny dog with light brown hair. She was a chihuahua. She was rather fussy and ran around the playground.

Harriet Houndstooth was a fine-looking black Labrador. She was happy walking along the street with the people looking after her – George, Anne Marie and a little boy named Gonjy. Harriet was quiet.

Bobby Barker was on the other side of the street. Bobby was a chao. He annoyed everyone by barking all the time.

Suzy Snout was licking her snout all the time. She was a Labrador. It was a very pretty snout.

A terrified cat ran for its life down the street. It was pursued by Charlie Chaseacat. He was very partial to chasing cats! Charlie was an Alsatian.

Later on, Dogbert saw a spaniel named Sammy Stinkysmell. Dogbert ran to the far side of the street. He always gave Sammy a wide berth because Sammy’s stench would sicken a skunk. Sammy’s mistress was a very stuck-up woman who was always dressed up to the nines in Prada skirt suits and stilettoes. Luckily for her she had no sense of smell. But she still always had her nose high in the air. The mistress was also rich – richer than the stench from under Sammy’s tail. Now that’s really saying something!

Dogbert was stunned to see a dog named Anna Banana. She too was an Alsatian or German shepherd some prefer to say. Anna was able to peel a banana. She is the only dog in the world who can do that. It was rumoured that she could also open doors. She would stand on her hind legs and depress the door handle and either push the door forward or else walk backwards to pull the door open. Next thing she would be able to rob banks. But who would drive the getaway car?